Desperate Housewives

The new neighbors, Bob and Lee, have a Halloween soiree to help reunite Wisteria Lane after the whole fountain issue. While they are extending their neighborly invitation to Bree, they notice a person looking out the upstairs window. "Is that your daughter?" "No, my daughter is in boarding school in Switzerland."/upstairs peering out the window because I've hidden her away to cover up her pregnancy/steal her child to make amends for my previous bad parenting.

Gaby finds her new father-in-law waiting in her Wisteria Lane house, ready with a check for "lot's of zero's" dollars if she'll only stay married to the mayor until the gubernatorial election is over in thirteen months. When she tells Carlos that their plans to runaway together have to be put off because of their shaky financial situation, Carlos reveals that he'd embezzled $10,000,000 back when he had a job. Gaby is happy, no wait Gaby is pissed. She was entitled to half of everything he'd embezzled during their marriage. She can no longer trust him, and it's back to Victor who suddenly has oodles of time.

Susan and Mike talk to a genetic counselor, where Susan discovers that Mike lied about his father being dead. He's really in prison for murder. Susan decides that dad's reason for murder was not as legitimate as Mike's reason for murder and is disappointed that she is now carrying a child with broken genes.

Lynnette, gets back from her post chemo checkup and discovers that a possum has invaded her garden. She freaks out, and puts all of her energy into ridding her garden of Scruffy, the kids illegitimate possum pet. She even goes so far as to get gun advice from Bree, who sends her to the gun emporium by the Baptist church, "tell them I sent you and they'll give you a hefty discount." Later, Lynnette's mom gets her drunk and she falls asleep on the couch. What's this, a visit from her oncologist. Lynnette is cancer free. Yippee. Now she feels bad about killing that possum. It was only her misguided frustration with cancer.

Edie tells Victor that Gaby and Carlos are sneaking around, only after she told the IRS that Carlos had an offshore bank account, one that no longer exists.

So, 'round we come again to the Halloween party. Everyone is there, and in walks 8 month pregnant Danielle, cleverly dressed as her mother. Pulling the secret off until her water breaks. Then it's out the door, "can we make it to the hospital?' "there's no time" (excuse me, I was in labor for days with my first) well then I must go get the OB/GYN married to my arch nemesis. "you must never tell what you are about to find out" "Does this have anything to do with the pregnancy you've been faking" Danielle gives birth to a baby boy on the kitchen table, in front of her step-father and brother. (Does it get any more real than that?) The doctor holds up the baby just as the Scavo children are peeking in the kitchen window. Those sneaky Scavo children. Now that's five people who now know the dirty little secret the Hodge's have been hiding.

What follows is my rant.

Get Gaby and Carlos together and let them be happy. Be honest Bree. Grow up Susan. I guess we don't want normal.